Friday, July 25, 2008

I got this text message awhile ago...

my work phone, which I almost never get texts on, made this strange noise awhile ago -- well in fact I have papers spread from here to kingdom come on my desk, so actually this pile of papers to my right made the strange noise... and though I'm almost completely braintarded, it did occur to me that it was a phone noise. So I grabbed... my personal phone -- well shit nothing there, no reason for it to make a noise, then I noticed my work phone was still charging from earlier in the day when it made that other strange noise ... the I'm going to cut you off in the middle of this conversation with your boss and you will have to confess that you didn't charge your phone -- AGAIN. So I thought, oh wow, it's full, it makes noise when it's full. Well it wasn't full (see it really did need charging), but it did have a little envelope picture... ooh a text, what a welcome distraction.

the text read:

"Give me a call when you're ready for the drink ... I'm texting so you will have my number"

Well... it was a local number, but seriously, WTF??

oh yeah, I told moosema I need a drink before the baby leaves for college, it has to be her... sure enough, I got a second text:

"BTW this is moosema"

well of course, in spite of the fact that I was still at work during the drinking hour -- I called her!

but we aren't drinking -- a. we may like our blogs, and y'all -- and we may be closet geeks -- but seriously, we are drinkers first and no way are we going drinking where we can jump on some free wifi and blog while drunk -- I like my bourbon ice freakin cold and straight up -- and the only way to keep it ice freakin cold when it's straight up is to not lollygag on the drinking action

so... hopefully now that I have the moosema phone number (again, I lost it at least once already) we can go drink some bourbon and laugh at ourselves... we will try to let you know so you can drink simultaneously (any excuse when you have screaming kids and laundry piled up from winter still in July)

Survival of the "fittest"

Maybe it’s just where I go to read – or maybe most mom’s of teenagers don’t have time to blog (or they can’t get the teenagers off of their facebook/myspace to have at the computer and internet connection that they are doubtless paying for). Most of the blogs I read are written by mom’s who are dealing with things I already “dealt” with – and by “dealt” with, I do mean one of the following:
• Stuck my head in the sand and pretended not to know
• Yelled till my eyes were popping out of my head and my head did that whole 360 degree spin that Linda Blair did in the exorcist
• Tattled on them to their dad and let him “take over” (and by “take over” I mean, “handle” it with my chiming in from the background)
• Called my mom to humiliate them by telling her what asses her grandbabies are – she nearly always took their side, it’s so strange, after her children bred… she became this woman in her mind who tolerates everything and “never yelled”
• Sent them to their room to “think about this and come up with what you think I should do”
• Tried to use guilt by telling them “Please don’t make me be a parent right now, let’s find another way”
• Made them write me an essay outlining what they did and how they will change and what the consequences are – this was not actually meant as a learning tool as much as a diversion so that I could… stick my head in the sand and pretend not to know

The joy of reading those blogs, is that it reminds me that I survived…

• the day my daughter was ready to go out the door to kindergarten, except for brushing her hair – at which time I discovered she had both gum and tree sap in her hair
• the time my son brought home fish guts and eyeballs for ‘show and tell’ and left them in a tackle box at the top of the stairs in the summer heat for two days
• the floods
• the fires
• the famine
(tee hee, I couldn’t resist listing them like that)
• The floods… the time my two older ones flooded grandpas bathroom by stuffing his sink with toilet paper and leaving it running; the time the neighbors pool collapsed and nearly filled our yard and nearly collapsed our pool (first summer kids were ‘home alone’); the time the toilet overflowed on the kids, and they didn’t know how to turn the water off, so it kept going and going and going; and several smaller, less tragic floods
• The fires… the time my son wondered if he light a wet paper towel on fire… next to the waste basket, which is where he flung the burning wet paper towel; the attempts (I helped) to blow up army men; the time my daughter singed off half her face learning to light the gas grill (dad’s supervision – not mine); and dear G-d, trying to teach two different girl scout troops how to light a campfire
• The famine… I really don’t have to actually explain that with three teenagers and two refrigerators and an enormous freezer and pantries both upstairs and down – everyday is famine “Mom, there’s nothing to eat”
• Science experiments – pop cans imploding; frozen baseball drop; growing grass w/o light; which freezes faster hot/cold water; what closes a wound better, bandaids, butterflies or stitches; volcanoes; tornadoes; will the dog eat “that”; will my brother eat “that”; what do I have to do to force my sister to eat “that”; etc.
• Broken bones; bloody noses; headaches; cramps; seizures; more bloody noses; vomit; pin worms; stitches; more bloody noses; more vomit; growing pains; blisters; fingernails coming off; chafing (I do have a baseball player… ps. those going to Cooperstown, now or ever… BAG BALM); more bloody noses; sprains; deep tissue bruises; black eyes; more bloody noses; and more vomit; bug bites; bee stings; cat scratches; things in your body that shouldn’t be there; things not in your body that should be there; and more bloody noses. (I have two chronic bleeders and one chronic vomiter)
• My husband acting like an 8 year old at the most inopportune moments
• 3 dogs; 2 cats; 4 guinea pigs; 6 birds; numerous fish; several pet spiders; and the ducks that visit our pool every spring
• The time the older two talked the younger one into shoving beans up her nose
• The time the older two caked the younger one with mud
• The time the older two told the younger one that the Broncos had a girl playing for them – and she announced it proudly at school
• The many times the oldest has attempted to cheer for the Yankees during a Red Sox game
• The reaction of the boy to anyone giving the Yankees any praise
• Carpools
• Field Trips
• Girl Scout Camp
• Girl Scout Camp with food in the tent with me – and critters
• Girl Scout Camp with the scout who wouldn’t drink water because she was “afraid” of the latrine
• Girl Scout Camp with the biggest most retarded brainless bimbo nitwit Girl Scout Leaders ever to buy a badge book and send home permission slips
• My kids taking trips w/o me
• Elegant Dinners as a family in Elegant Restaurants
• Crappy fast food in the car with one napkin for the whole crew
• A mini-van (I swear I will deny it if you bring it up to me in person)
• A two-door car with three car seats (hence the other vehicle I mentioned)
• At least five different threats to “run away” – and one day that the boy actually did leave the house – we found him a block away
• Numerous phone calls at work that ended with “go ahead and kill each other, just don’t bleed on the carpet and dammit don’t call me at work again unless someone is bleeding”
• Countless trips to the emergency room
• The “broken” foot that the boy was absolutely certain he could NOT WALK ON – the one he skipped around the ER on for the Dr. when he asked…
• The not broken collar bone that turned out to be broken
• Bicycle crashes
• A swimming pool – and the squirrel that drowned in it (bleah)
• Haircuts – self inflicted
• Haircuts – professionally inflicted
• Haircuts – exactly what they asked for and now HATE
• Buzzcuts – mom inflicted
• Broken hearts; mean classmates; school changes; religious intolerance
• Pet deaths
• Granparent deaths
• Friend deaths
• Baseball games; tournaments; practices; pitching instruction; batting instruction; Softball games; tournaments; practices; pitching instruction; batting instruction; Swim meets; practices; Football games; practices; Sports in cold weather; hot weather; indoors (loud); outdoors (loud); cowbells from the team in Texas; kids with beards and possibly children of their own playing as 14 y/o in the World Series; Boys at swim meets ogling the well endowed swimmers; Girls at baseball games ogling the boys in tight pants; Grandma’s at football games yelling things like “kill em”, “go get that guy and put him on the ground”, “don’t take that crap, show him who’s boss”;
• Camping trips… nuff said
• Family trips… nuff said
• Bad hotel reservations; bad restaurants; (food poisoning); staying with relatives
• The time the boy farted so stinky I had tears running down my face and had to hang my head out the window – I was driving
• Lots of boy sleepovers (relatively easy actually)
• Lots of girl sleepovers (oh G-d, kill me now)
• The drive-in
• Car seats
• Diapers
• Potty Training
• All those other baby milestones…
I assure you, if I can teach them to walk, talk, eat, and shit in the toilet, there is hope for damn near anyone

And so much more…

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

are you more parent or more friend?

and can you be both?

Recently, a young man that I know got himself into some legal trouble -- and his parents who live apart, were asked to come in and talk to some sort of counselor at the juvenile detention facility to help in determining if which parent he is placed with would have any effect on his behaviour when he is released.

The dad was asked "are you more of a parent or a friend?" -- he answered 50/50.
The mom was asked "are you more of a parent or a friend?" -- she answered 50/50.
The son was asked "which of your parents is more of a friend and which more of a parent?" -- he answered 50/50.

So I was discussing this with my mom (you remember, we are the only people with brains large enough to solve all the world's problems, or so we think during our morning conversations)... and, my first response was "what do they mean by friend?"... I believe I am a friend to my kids, we talk about silly stuff, we laugh together, we cry together, we help one another, we are friends. WE ARE NOT PEERS -- I do not go buy the same clothes as my daughters, I do not go to their parties, I do not act like a peer. I had some adult friends growing up, the neighbors who had no kids, I hung out with them, they were friendly to me, I was friendly to them -- they were still adults, and I was still a kid. My parents were and are my friends, they still, even though I am an adult now, are not my peers. I can count my good friends quickly -- in my world, a good friend is someone you can call when you are several hours away and you are in some sort of trouble -- your car is broken down, you need someone to cry with, you are sick... and they will drop what they are doing and come to your aid. In my world, you can call your good friend at 3am and say, I really need you, and they will be there for you. I have lots of other friends too, people I don't feel badly calling from 9am-9pm and saying, hey, next Thursday I have this project that I don't know how to do, but I know you do know how, will you come help me teach my girl scouts how to knit baby booties? Or, hey, do you have a blah blah that I can borrow for two days?... I have a lot of those friends. Then I have acquaintances, people I know from school, sports, etc. People who if I were sitting at a ball game with them, we might share sunscreen or sunflower seeds, but who I wouldn't dream of dropping in on at their homes. People that I would never call to ask if they would help me teach girl scouts how to knit, even if they knit at the games all the time. I might however call them if I were doing a special project for the activity that both of our kids are involved in. I want to be more than someone who shares sunscreen when it's convenient with my kids, and different than someone I would call up and say "hey, I'm invited to this bachelorette party, and I don't want to go alone, will you come be stupid with me for a few hours?"

What are you? -- am I wrong, can you not be a friend to your kid? And was the interviewer wrong, should he have been asking are you more a parent or a peer? Is there a difference? My mom and I thought that it would be interesting to poll other parents, so I did ask two moms... at baseball... they both immediately and without hesitation gave their answers -- so it was interesting. Now that we have this post below, that brought so many responses (it was pretty exciting for this little quiet blog to have a little party going on for awhile) -- and someone suggested you should make your decision by putting yourself in the position of your adult child's peer... I thought of this topic.

oh yeah ps. I hope my adult child's peer has no interest in whether or not he has an 'intact' foreskin -- ewwwwwwwww... "whatcha lookin at my pud for?"

By the way -- to all the baseball mom's out there -- I used baseball as an example, probably should have used swimming, because over the years, some of the baseball families have grown into other categories, and I would easily call them at 3am and say "hey, I need you" and they would be there for me. Also, many of them are near the top of the "will you go be stupid with me for a few hours list -- because they are so much fun to be stupid with!".

Friday, July 18, 2008

circumcision -- the man perspective?

tee hee, I couldn't resist. (and of course I can't just pop off a quick post either, I have to give lots of unnecessary background -- maybe someday I will conquer that compulsion).

so -- I mentioned my younger brother/wife are pregnant. We "know" (via ultrasound) that it is a boy -- and so inevitably the discussion of circumcision came up. I shared my personal story of making this decision with them -- and then last week she pretty much confirmed that she had decided to have the baby circumcised. I was mentioning this to my mom (in a "we have a success" way...) and she and I, as we generally always do, had to rehash the entire topic as if it were new somehow and we were the only people on the planet with brains large enough to solve this great world problem... alas, both of my older very grown brothers, who have grown sons of their own, were at mom's this morning sitting on the porch with her while I was on the phone with her. So, as a quick survey (which is by the way, how I eventually was swayed to having my son circ'd) she asked my older brother "what do you think of circumcising a new baby boy" and my brother said "thats the time to do it" -- smirk. Like she was asking about the timing, not the if it should be done. We both laughed hysterically -- okay now that I'm typing this, not as funny -- maybe you need to hear him "say" it. Anyhow, I have this much post typed, so I'm not erasing it just cuz it lost it's pow in translation to the "page".

And for anyone who is trying to make this decision -- and it is a VERY IMPORTANT decision. I am a survey person, when I have a big decision I will ask everyone I think might have any little tid bit of value -- and w/o exception those grown men (or the women who are intimate with them) that were surveyed by me -- and we are talking probably in the multiple dozens (and multiple generations) -- that were NOT circumcised wish they had been -- and most had to be circumcised as a young man or adult -- which was not at all pleasant. Also, my son, when he had this procedure done -- did not cry, he made a little gaspy sound as though he felt something, but he did not cry and scream as circumcision opponents would have you believe. Lastly, the Doula that my sister-in-law and I met with last week, let us know that her two grown sons are both un-cut, and the one who is active in the Army wishes he had been, "in the field" it is difficult to maintain the level of hygiene needed. Her other son (who is not in the military), does not have an opinion and is neither grateful she didn't nor does he wish that she had. Like I said, this is an important decision, and yours should be respected whichever way you go -- I am happy that I got all of the information I possibly could and spoke to people who I trusted about it -- and in trying to change my husband's mind to have the boy un-cut, I ended up being convinced that doing it was the right decision for us. I am only sharing my research as a helpful tip -- I think you should not do it for appearance (as my brother says -- if the other guys are looking at it his son can say "what the hell you lookin at my pud for?") and I don't think you should do it "cuz it's always been done" -- you should find out the health reasons for that decision and use that as your guide.

And if you are doing it -- I do agree with my brother -- when they are a baby "that's the time to do it!"

Thursday, July 17, 2008


So it’s been a little crazy in my life (again? – still?) – My boss resigned; My little brother shipped out to Iraq (he is a Marine); My little brother’s wife is due to have their first baby at the end of the month, and I am her birth coach, so busy with last month of pregnancy preparations, classes, meeting with doula, etc.; My youngest had her end-of-term retreat to celebrate the end of her term as Honored Queen in Job’s Daughters; My son/husband built a pitching mound in the backyard; My oldest daughter is working like crazy and getting ready to go on a “vacation” to Wisconsin for Job’s Daughters; My youngest had a week-long camping trip with her Girl Scouts in South Dakota; I’ve been crocheting (yes I really can do a few ridiculously domestic things) a baby afghan for the baby on the way; My niece was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy about 10 days ago, that is very distressing; My nephew (different family) broke his hand in several places and had some major reconstructive hand surgery about 2 weeks ago; My oldest daughter is getting baptized this Sunday (better late than never? – a little less than three weeks before she turns 18; My oldest is turning 18 !! ; We had fiscal year end at the Foundation where I work; We had fiscal year end at the Foundation that I am President of; We had fiscal year end at the organization that I was an officer of (some things are good, that term expired!); Husband allowed himself to be persuaded to take on too large of a volunteer task (fundraising chair for baseball)– like I should talk, did you just read the above??; My car needed a MAJOR repair, which did not get done properly, so they still have the car, correcting the problem AGAIN…

So I haven’t had time to post the many hilarious and fascinating things that when they have occurred have made me make a mental note to “post that tomorrow” – well several tomorrow’s have come and gone… and speaking of gone, apparently my mental notes have all expired and flown out the window with my money and sanity.

Watched the All-Star festivities, well as much as I could – I had an annual meeting the night of the game, but I saw the Home Run Derby and the Softball game, and part of the All-Star game. It was great seeing all the celebration of Yankee Stadium – I really enjoyed all of it except for the evil one coming out to hand out the balls for the first pitch. I Really REALLY loved the opening of the A.S. Game and all the old hall-of-famers on the field at each position, that was AWESOME. The Home Run Derby was as entertaining as they come, well at least the first round with Josh Hamilton just hitting the hell outta the ball – WOW!

Got a chance to get out of town and went to Grand Lake. WOW it’s just beautiful up there, I love it so much – the girls had a wonderful time – I am done chaperoning other people’s children for a while though, ugh. Is it just me? Am I too old-fashioned? Too much of a hard-ass? What is with these kids speaking so disrespectfully to their parents? Several of the girls up there are often sassy and their parents seem completely oblivious to it, so there is no correction ever made. However, one of them was so bad, that all of us other chaperones (including one that allows her girls to speak sassy to her) spoke to the girl about it. She is downright AWFUL to her mom, and her mom seems completely clueless to it. Also, what is with the excuses… my kids aren’t allowed that luxury. Not that they don’t try sometimes, and I suppose occasionally it slips by one of us… but basically, excuses and assholes smell just the same – and my kids know when I make a face like I just smelled a fart (my husband thinks Renee Zelwegger goes around all the time with that face, giggle)– they’ve pushed it on the excuse page. One little one up there gave excuses even when they weren’t necessary… ADULT: “Alice, here is your cookie”; ALICE: “I couldn’t find my napkin, so I didn’t get it yet”. No one asked why she didn’t get it yet, in fact it never crossed anyone’s mind, they were just serving things up. ALL WEEKEND-this child must have made 6,458 excuses in less than two days! Also… you know when you chaperone that Friday night is gonna be a late night and a struggle to get them to settle into bed – but you always comfort yourself that Saturday will be so much easier because they will be so tired. Well… this same little excuse gal – NEVER GOT TIRED – it was freakin amazing; swam in the lake; paddled a boat around; walked all over town; participated in the “Olympics” (sort of a field day); etc. – at 2am one of the chaperones went down cuz they were being kept awake by this ‘thump, thump, thump’ and it was “alice” kicking off of a beam support and spinning in a chair. It was amazing.

Oh hell, and kitten… acted this morning as if he would like to go hump the neighbors cat. I have no idea if it’s a female, and I didn’t think he was old enough yet, since the vet said he wouldn’t neuter him yet. But, none the less he was meowing out the window like he really wanted to be near that cat… and he has not done that before that I have ever observed. Do cat’s “go into heat?” – I really don’t know much about cats. If so, it’s my guess that it was a she, and she was out there flippin her stuff in the air making sure he got a good whiff, so that he would want it bad, and do all he could to escape his palace and go slumming with this little outdoor nearly feral hussy running around the neighborhood. SLUT – bet she has her belly button pierced.

Oh speaking of belly button piercings… again, I know, stop beating the dead horse, but… so we were in birthing class the other night and all the mommies were having a side discussion about the awful scarring from their former piercings now that the belly is all stretched. Two of the mom’s that had given birth (teacher and guest speaker) both said that the scar does not improve much after you give birth and they both have scars that are several inches and to them very ugly! Maybe… I can use this to stall little miss “but it’s cute”. – ugh, why can’t she just dye her hair purple or something?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

quick question - belly button piercing - is it slutty?

My 17 y/o (soon to be 18 y/o) wants to pierce her belly button. She has had it in her head that she could just wait til she was 18 and blow off the fact that we don't like it... her dad told her that just cuz she's 18 doesn't give her control -- we are paying for college - therefore she still has to honor our wishes.

I want to know from readers -- is belly button piercing slutty?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Sexy Twinkie?

So -- occasionally when I notice that I am actually getting more than 3 hits per day (2 from me checking my hits and comments and going to my links for the blogs I like to read, and one from one of my 3 regular readers) I will go out to statcounter and have a look at who's been lurking around...

um... some guy with an isp that says it's from the Middle East googled "Sexy Twinkie" -- okay, that it got to me is amusing all by itself... but that someone has any thought of a twinkie being sexy has me completely perplexed.

In addition to the sexy twinkie googlage (hmmm new word?)-- there were also several readers who lurked over from my friend Mike's blog... and a few people who were looking for baseball mom information. I have sort of slipped away from the baseball mom stuff (High School ball is just different)... but, I will give you a little taste of the Boys of Summer and how they are doing in our corner of the world.

Last night we played a double-header (most of our summer games are double-headers) against a 5A school (we are 4A) and the boy pitched during the first game. When he threw well he threw really well... but he also has a few stretches where the balls were a little too prevalent for my comfort, and... the defense behind him was atrocious -- defense has been atrocious all season in my opinion. I would like to see the boys who are making multiple errs pulled, but a lot of the parents don't agree - this team is for "development" and that can't develop on the bench (bullshit, the other players can't develop when the third baseman five-holes THREE easy grounders in a row!) Oh yeah and the third baseman's family was seated behind me, so one of these errs (this was actually letting one go by him to his right (between him and the bag)) -- a run scored! let me repeat that for those of you who didn't see the boy in maroon cross the plate... a run scored! -- and his dad says "Shake it off Bernard(fake name), no harm done" -- WTF?!?!?!? NO HARM DONE??? -- Just so we are clear here, a run scoring qualifies as "harm done" in my book -- I had to get up and go spend money at the concession stand just cuz I wanted to slap the parent... so yeah they lost that game. NOT looking forward to another crappy assed game like that, but in a bonus, the parent that had me all tweetered left so I at least didn't have to listen to his retarded remarks for the second game. So first inning of second game we are down 7-0 -- ugh... there's a long line drive to the outfield, and the kid from second heads home... the centerfielder throws home, one bounce on the hardassed infield (we can talk about lousy field conditions another time) and the catcher has the ball but the runner JUMPS over the catcher (which for those of you who don't know... is against High School rules, "can't leave their feet" was the phrase being used by the two dad's who played college ball) -- the catcher, btw, a great catcher, will probably play ball in college (unfortunate that he has to play with these other kids who don't give a shit about summer ball) jumps up and starts saying to the ump "he jumped, he jumped"... well about that time, the kid who hit the ball, on second now, starts heading for third, and all the boys are like "Ralph (fake name again, duh), Ralph... T H I R D" so he throws down to third (have I mentioned the third baseman is a twinkie and can't catch the ball if it hits him in the glove? - okay I exaggerate for effect), and I can't really say if I would charge the err on the catcher (hurried throw)or the 3rd baseman (probably third, cuz I like "Ralph" and I don't like "Bernard") -- and the ball gets passed the third baseman (yawning yet?) and the kid comes home... somehow 'Bernard' managed to field the ball and throw it to 'Ralph' at the plate, 'Ralph' took a position that would allow him to catch the ball and tag the runner... well the runner did a Pete Rose on 'Ralph' -- but 'Ralph' is a big kid, plays football, built like a 'shit brickhouse' -- oh wait that's 'brick shithouse' (thank you colorful Grand-mother for that beauty of a phrase), and he doesn't budge, the kid however falls flat on his little face in the dirt. So, he's a little bit messy, but he's fine, well the visiting parents start screaming about how brutal our catcher is and how he should be ejected... and of course we defended him, because he did NOTHING WRONG, he is allowed to take a position that will allow him to field the ball, and he didn't move toward their player, their player tried to mow him down, but he simply wasn't man enough to do that. Well this fired the boys up something fierce, and they won that game coming back from 9-0 to win 19-15 -- it was a very exciting game... oh yeah, and we were out of pitching, we pitched two kids who NEVER pitch and had our 2nd baseman playing catcher for the last inning! BTW no one was ejected, not even any loud fans, and the ump allowed both runs.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Double Negative Math - Fun with Numbers

We are geeks in our house – I have revealed this before, we don’t dress like geeks, and all my kids play sports and look like normal kids – my husband was an athlete, and I was one of those girls that dated athletes… so I guess we are closet geeks – never the less, I know out of the closet geeks that aren’t actually geeky enough to record jeopardy and then sit around with a jeopardy “score sheet” and play against each other!

So… we are a bit behind on our jeopardy watching and the episodes were stacking up in the DVR and taking up valuable space that could be used by equally geeking things like obscure movies from IFC or documentaries from The History Channel – it was a couple of mornings ago, and my oldest daughter decided we should whip through one quickly (it only takes about 16 minutes if you skip the commercials and the player interviews) – so she and I started, and in walked the boy… he only stays if one of the catergories interests him, he’s very competitive and unless he thinks he has a bit of an edge can’t stand to be beaten – so the final jeopardy category “Fun with Numbers” appealed to Math Boy [“Mom – you don’t have to like math to be good at it, I don’t like math, I’m just good at it” – Math Boy, after a state math competition and a discussion about considering engineering as a possible career path]

It really doesn’t matter what the question was – however, just to be clear for history’s sake – Math Boy and Mom (a math minor in college) both got it wrong – oldest daughter answered correctly.

The amusing part of the whole thing was that the first two contestants also answered incorrectly… so the third contestant had over $21,000 before the question… not knowing her answer or what her wager was, but seeing the smile on her face, Alex Trebek remarked that it would appear she felt confident she had won. Then they revealed her answer, and it was correct… she needed to have wagered a large amount to have beaten the defending champion… and math boy said… no she could have wagered a negative amount and then intentionally answered incorrectly and she would have been assured of a win because 21,000 minus negative 21,000 would be 42,000! Then he stated that he would do that someday, be on Jeopardy and wager a negative amount – and he felt that it would be particularly hilarious if the category were “fun with numbers”!