So – you are looking around at all the pink and thinking oh great – here comes some sappy crappy romantic stuff – WRONG!
Don’t get me wrong, I love romance – I think romance is necessary and healthy and absolutely fabulous. I hate CONTRIVED romance. That is to say, I hate love songs; I hate stupid sappy assed insincere cards; I detest feeling obligated to show affection or vocalize feelings just because it’s good manners to ‘return’ the comment/action. Valentine’s Day (and Anniversaries) are the stupidest most obligatory contrived holidays I can think of.
You know how fundamental Christians carry on about not over-commercializing Christmas and remembering Jesus’ birthday (which by the way is NOT on Christmas). Why don’t they have the same passion about anniversaries and Valentine’s Day?
I love my husband, deeply, passionately, in ways I never understood until it happened. I love my children, deeply, passionately, in ways no one can fathom until they feel it. I love my parents, deeply, passionately, blindly. I love my siblings, I love my friends, I love many people, and creatures. And, I enjoy giving valentines to any/all of them. Valentine’s are fun – the little candy hearts, the chocolates, silly sentiments that are universally genuine and sincere. I do not however generally feel very romantic on Valentine’s Day – probably in part because I am stubborn to a fault, and I hate being told how to feel – so… if Hallmark says I must feel sappy and romantic all day, I’m likely to feel nearly the opposite.
I tell my husband often, particularly around Valentine’s Day and anniversaries – every day is Valentine’s Day – the best most wonderful romantic gesture are the ones that happen on the spur of the moment, or at least are UNEXPECTED. I love when my husband grabs me by the hand to drag me outside to look at the sunset – I love grabbing his hand and dragging him outside to kiss in the rain. I feel incredibly in love when he will just suddenly suggest a romantic moment in spite of the dirty house, crazy schedule, or even that I look awful. I love when he dresses up for some event that he doesn’t even really want to attend – he looks fabulous, and I know he is making a sacrifice for someone else’s happiness.
So what are my Valentine’s plans… I plan to cook a special dinner for the kids and husband – maybe French Steak, decorate the dining room with things from the box that has VD written on the side in big red marker, give them all stupid little trinkets and goofy valentines – as if we are all in 3rd grade – and I will email them ecards – because those are the best valentine cards around. My husband I will probably not have a night any different than usual in the romance department, because he knows that I hate feeling obligated to be romantic – and then in a week or two, one of us will do something incredibly romantic for the other.