WOW! I just drove my daughter over to a neighborhood pool to practice for ‘lifeguard games’ – the best I can figure is that it is sort of a contest for lifeguards where they compete at skills they should possess as lifeguards – and the best I can calculate, it is intended to be fun – thus the word ‘games’ – all that aside, on my way home I saw…
THE STUPIDEST BUMPER STICKER
Okay – so some of you are going to disagree and say, ah that’s sweet. BULLSHIT! It is not sweet – if you need to convince people that you love your wife instead of them just looking at you and saying, wow, they are in love – or wow, he loves his wife – then you need to change a lot more than just sticking some shitty little piece of plastic on your car. If you actually have one of these I pity you and your spouse, if you are contemplating it, I say… for crying out loud get some freakin therapy – you are one sick puppy! If your spouse is making you put it on there because they want the world to know that you are married – you might seek therapy, you might seek an attorney, the divorce type. NO ONE who is in love and married and loves their spouse needs to prove it to ANYONE, it should be apparent to EVERYONE who spends any time around you – if it isn’t there are problems that a bumper sticker won’t fix.
Are there times when my overwhelming affection for my husband isn’t very apparent, oh hell yes. Are there times when his adoration of me isn’t exactly showing for the rest of the world – well yeah. Do all of our friends, family, neighbors, enemies, business associates, co-workers, parents of kids’ friends and the grocery store clerk know that we love one another – ABSOLUTELY! Is this because we make out in the produce aisle or make googily eyes at each other at the school carnival – oh fuck no – and do we have insincere candy-assed sentiments pasted all over our bodies and vehicles – um, I think you can guess that answer.
So alas, I conclude, it is the stupidest bumper sticker (at least for this week – we all know how I feel about absolutes).
I think just for shit’s and giggle’s I will tag a few of you – what is your ‘stupidest bumper sticker’ (or equivalent public statement media) – and let’s avoid actual political statement, satire on the other hand is free game – this tag goes out to… baseball mom, wiping up snot (I just started reading her and I don’t think she reads me, but oh well) and never a dull moment