Friday, July 13, 2007

g.u.t.s. has nothing on this

WOW! I just drove my daughter over to a neighborhood pool to practice for ‘lifeguard games’ – the best I can figure is that it is sort of a contest for lifeguards where they compete at skills they should possess as lifeguards – and the best I can calculate, it is intended to be fun – thus the word ‘games’ – all that aside, on my way home I saw…



THE STUPIDEST BUMPER STICKER

Okay – so some of you are going to disagree and say, ah that’s sweet. BULLSHIT! It is not sweet – if you need to convince people that you love your wife instead of them just looking at you and saying, wow, they are in love – or wow, he loves his wife – then you need to change a lot more than just sticking some shitty little piece of plastic on your car. If you actually have one of these I pity you and your spouse, if you are contemplating it, I say… for crying out loud get some freakin therapy – you are one sick puppy! If your spouse is making you put it on there because they want the world to know that you are married – you might seek therapy, you might seek an attorney, the divorce type. NO ONE who is in love and married and loves their spouse needs to prove it to ANYONE, it should be apparent to EVERYONE who spends any time around you – if it isn’t there are problems that a bumper sticker won’t fix.

Are there times when my overwhelming affection for my husband isn’t very apparent, oh hell yes. Are there times when his adoration of me isn’t exactly showing for the rest of the world – well yeah. Do all of our friends, family, neighbors, enemies, business associates, co-workers, parents of kids’ friends and the grocery store clerk know that we love one another – ABSOLUTELY! Is this because we make out in the produce aisle or make googily eyes at each other at the school carnival – oh fuck no – and do we have insincere candy-assed sentiments pasted all over our bodies and vehicles – um, I think you can guess that answer.

So alas, I conclude, it is the stupidest bumper sticker (at least for this week – we all know how I feel about absolutes).

I think just for shit’s and giggle’s I will tag a few of you – what is your ‘stupidest bumper sticker’ (or equivalent public statement media) – and let’s avoid actual political statement, satire on the other hand is free game – this tag goes out to… baseball mom, wiping up snot (I just started reading her and I don’t think she reads me, but oh well) and never a dull moment

6 comments:

baseballmom said...

Oooh, I hate those things...I bet his wife plastered it on there when she found out about the 'other woman' or something. I have to think about a good one, since I'm tagged! I got a couple of them that I've seen and LIKED though...one was, "The only good clown is a dead clown" and the other one is "What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?". Heh.

Jenny McB said...

I have the hokey pokey on my car, the only bumper sticker that I have ever put on.....I saw the saying on a magnet in a store in Denver about 5 years ago and fell in love with the saying.

My other favorite is something like, As a matter of fact, I am a model.

When I see political ones for the other party, I gag and the whole ribbon thing is over play.

Thanks for stopping by, will have to bookmark you. OUr kids are similar in ages, I am in the next stage of 2 kids working and one car. Love the kid that's in college and will miss him when he goes back, but boy I miss my freedom.

momumo said...

I think the ribbons have lost their meaning when people are sticking them to their cars and they say I <3 my lhasa apso - it just doesn't have the same punch as the early ribbons that were all about remembering tragedy! I do however dig the idea of magnetic messages, one of my super dislikes of bumper stickers is that I have NO DESIRE to stick something to my car permanently that doesn't resonate with me permanently - and that's pretty much everything but my kids!

It is great to have someone reading my stuff that does have older kids - it seems most blogs I stumble across remind of what it was like when... but they aren't necessarily dealing with teenage and older stuff. My oldest goes off to college next year - I may need a blog to go and tell my troubles to - smirk

Anna said...

ROFL. I say the bumper sticker was on the car to remind him that he actually had a wife. That or the bumper sticker itself is a GPS tracking device installed by the WIFE THAT IS LOVED.

Flawed & Disorderly said...

So....are you saying you would remove it if your husband put one on his car? I wasn't quite sure how you felt about it. Did you love it? You're gonna kick my ass, aren't you? ;)

momumo said...

No... I think I'm gonna send one to Ironman! Maybe twelve, he can actually wallpaper his car, his garage, his office, etc...