Friday, January 20, 2006
another secret revealed... when I was younger I told almost NO ONE about my little issue - then eventually, I learned that admitting my deficiency sometimes became necessary - anyhow, I have this bizarrely unusual colorblindness - don't even know the proper name for it - basically I cannot differentiate between greens and yellows - and I am female -- it's probably like one in 85 bazillion odds or something - so... here's the reason for the post, I spent the first 13 or 14 years of my life not knowing I was colorblind and just (because of my ego) thinking that people around me were dorks to say something was one color when I knew it was another...then I found out why we were seeing things differently. Also, by some lovely human capacity, I can guess fairly accurately what color something is, I think there is some reception of the particular 'light wave' or whatever it is that allows the human eye/brain to perceive color - or I've learned to compensate - okay getting way off track here... so (wow am I elipsis [...] happy or what today?) back to my point. I've been going around since I was in Jr. High school feeling very self-conscious and hiding my secret (I don't really have secrets, but this makes me feel so strange, it's not that I think it's a problem, it's that people find it so amusing to "test" me, and then they constantly make comments about it "oh that's right, you can't tell that the Broncos wear Blue and Orange!") first of all, I don't see all things in GREY - second of all, even if I couldn't tell, um duh, I know what color they wear, and third, I don't like to be their science project)... okay so, years of hiding, and feeling some anxiety when I have to focus and attempt to guess a color (oh yeah, this really screws with some video games - isn't that crap!). Well this morning I had an epiphany, there is an article in this month's Readers Digest regarding 'Dreams'. I realized that in my dreams I have no color vision anxiety! Now, I can't say whether I am colorblind in my dreams, cuz I'm awake right now, but... I KNOW that I don't fret about it - maybe I skip those colors to eliminate that stress??? maybe I see something that I can define??? maybe my dreams are about other issues and it isn't fair to have that added stress??? I have no idea, I would love to hear from others with colorblindness about their dreams.